Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Stage Fright

Yesterday I told some close friends that I had "started a blog." I had been thinking about it for quite some time & it just felt like a good day to start. So it was strange that I was not prepared for the way it made me feel. Exposed & vulnerable. Quiet & shy.

Very surprising since in most cases I am a chatterbox, a writer of long emails, and I max out text message characters on a regular basis. If anything, one of the main things I should probably be learning in this lifetime is how to listen more and speak less.

There were a few false starts (which I am keeping in draft form in case they reinspire me) but basically, I just could not think of anything anyone else would want to read. What could I possibly fill this cozy little space with that would be interesting? Maybe a little bit fun sometimes? Maybe let someone see something of themselves in these words?

And then I was encouraged to remember that I just need to be open to the opportunity for writing. To write as I would in an email to a friend. To not let the worry of not doing it perfectly stop me from doing it at all.

Figuring out how to do things even if they scare me. Trying new things even if I don't think I will be any good at them. Making mistakes & looking for the lessons in them. Those are the things I most want to fill my life & this blog with.

Here I am

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